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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fears, Anxieties, Worries Tearing You Out ?

I remember I was twelve then as I stood up in that small gathering of friends and well wishers to deliver a song for the occasion. When I got up in front of everybody all dressed in my best suddenly the song choked and the words wouldn't come! I couldn't bring a single word out! Fear or panic had strangled me at the last moment. That was my first battle battle with fear of this sort. I sat down ashen - faced and later as I mingled with the crowd not knowing what to say, in the quiet of my mind dark fear set up base camp. Over the years whenever I was called to make a speech, say a few words in public or again sing in front of friends this eel of fear would vein through my emotions and strangle me again and again. But I decided to take the battle to fear's lair and started out by honing up on my guitar, practicing on scales and writing, singing songs and tunes. The personal battle with this one fear if I had lost would have laid me out in the trenches of life.

Left to themselves these panic attacks will invite the rest of their brood - shyness, feeling like withdrawing from public activities, dreadful of being in the spotlight, terrified of performing publicly and other manisfestations into our emotional life. These panic attacks start out of our response to a specific situation but if you also suffer from anxiety, depression and fear you may end up dealing with them on a regular basis.Whether you call it stage fright or performance anxiety, this debilitating fear can stop you cold in your career tracks. Almost everyone have bouts with stage fright, racing and pounding hearts, people fright or fame fright at some point in their lives. Many of the world's most famous performers have had to deal with periods of intense fear. There are even more fears - fears of a devil out to do you in, being continually anxiety-ridden, fear of coming face to face with crocs, fear of flying, fear of growing old, Friday the 13th, or worried about going insane maybe, spiders and snakes, the spirit world or social situations - nail biting and asphyxiating climaxes that could floor you for a full count-out! Whether students, preachers, housewives, doctors, lawyers, CEOs' or airline pilots fear stalks all of us.

The way to deal with these fears is to get to the bottom of WHY you are having these panic attacks. One way to start dealing with these fears is to begin writing down - how the fear rushed in. Was it because you saw a taunter in the crowd? Or you suddenly felt 'Hey!what am I doing here?Trying to be famous?' Write down everything you can about a particular episode of panic. Then ask yourself how are you going to deal with this. The question now is whether you want to let fears do you in or you will confront them, whether you want to vanquish them or run petrified in the face of them! Another way is to have a healthy role model such as Deborah who lived in the early history of Israel. Would she cower in fear or writhe in trembling as the army of the superpower of the day, the United States of Canaan came out against her puny little force? Another effective way to control a panic attack is to mentally make yourself relax. Take control of your emotional reins. Assure yourself that the problem isn't a huge issue and you are going to handle it, take control and solve the problem. You have to repeat this response until it becomes an attitude that you will no longer be at the mercy of these panic attacks nor fear or be dismayed by them. Get ANGRY with these fears and as often as you face them down you will realize you have got the power to control your panic attacks and just about overwhelm and go over any fear demon. If you don't do go pro active and face them off these fears don't just walk away they might build up, mob and cause worse panic attacks.

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld once said that at a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy! Deal with these fears before they deal with you. You CAN overcome the worst fears, phobias & anxieties - using the easiest, safest and fastest modern techniques - without drugs.

To Your Future ,


Cally Rao

Go forth and live a complete , emotionally healthy life.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Can You Trust Your Lover ? Marry Him ?

When you have moved into a new city or neighborhood, you may begin to feel cowed being the new kid in town besides being quite all alone . As time marches on , folk in the neighbourhood begin to want to get to know you and you reciprocate. You establish a circle of friends and pull them in into an inner circle.You now have friends or acquaintances.With the plodding on of time you notice relationships undergoing changes some even turning cold.One of your new found 'friends' seems to be a bit unpredictable in his behaviour. While it can be overeaction on the one hand yet of late we have been witnessing senseless killings , people getting shot at for no obvious reasons and some who seem to succumb to emotional rampages . This kind of senselessness throws us all out of kilter – when is the next episode of cat and the canary ? It is no longer something to speak softly of !What steps can you or families take to be safer ?Does this friend have any 'background' ?Perhaps something that is being held back or kept unknown from you ?
There is a way to take the lid off - do a background check!You do not have to be a private eye to do a background check-one of the best tools to do that had been on the Internet for a while. Finding information of any sort on anyone quickly and accurately such as criminal , driving and medical records is easy on the Internet via Net Detective. NET DETECTIVE is one of the most preferred people search engines on line. Almost anything about anyone can be accessed.Family histories, criminal records , birth certificates,DMV Records,adoption records,email addresses ,lost relatives,heirs,unlisted phone numbers and a lot more. Armed with this in depth information you need not allow fear to gnaw or trouble you. You can steer clear from peril if you can call it that. But at least you can put your doubts to rest.
Almost anyone's past could be traced or checked by a staff or employee , criminal or even medical background check. When fear or suspicion pickets your conscience,you ought to check your friend's , or new-found acquaintance's past record before wading deeper and trying to bind the relationship/s. Don't overlook the spate of killings and kidnappings at churches,neighbourhoods and other least expected locales amidst our own local citizenry.It's wisdom to take precaution.
Armed with this in depth information you need not allow fear to gnaw or trouble you. You can steer clear from peril if you can call it that. But at least you can put your doubts to rest.To be wise to the times we are living in now check out the tools and resources available to you at Net Detective.It could stop peril dead in it's tracks.

It will also be worth it if you are able to forge one of those solid, lifelong friendships.

Wishing you safe and wonderful friendships wherever you move to or are at ,


To your future ,

Cally Rao

Friday, October 2, 2009

Stepping Stones To Success For Teenagers

How do successful people reason and think ? What drives them ? In the years I was teaching classes full of teenagers I got hit by a full gamut of problems and issues they had had to grapple and fend with.Many of them were emotionally or mentally paralysed because they had no clear clue of what was 'right' or 'wrong'. In many instances I wouldn't be far from the truth they were having these problems because of some element of parenting or the stark abscence of parental coaching.To help them through I used to point them to certain role models and how they clambered out of the pits. Here are some of other issues:

1.Dropped out of school ? Not my fault. Smoking crack perhaps? Not my fault ! Married the wrong person? Not my fault.To a certain extent everybody claims to be a victim of somebody, some situation, background or country and or religion. VICTIMISM is almost default thinking now. Victimism's overriding cliché ,the response to almost all questions about one's miseries is : It's not my fault! Victimism seems to imply that we don't need to take responsibility for the living of our lives - that we are what we are because of somebody's else's fault. Not quite.You are fully responsible for what you are. Someone else's opinion of you won't change your life.You cannot afford to sell your self worth to someone else's mere words nor so easily succumb to their assessment of you. You are you. Unique and original.You must take responsibility for your life and control your thoughts and actions and chart your individual history.

2.Yet another key is to be PURPOSEFUL or pursue purposefulness in whatever you do. Do what you love to do . When you get a summer job,yes, do it with all your might! Go out of the way. Excel! Make a difference. Be a team player . Set small goals and work towards them. Achieve, climb. When you are older these small wins will lead you to victories in achieving.

3.Being purposeful requires you to be mindful of the direction you want to go. WRITE down your action plan. Write down your goals . If you are not clear about your goals you are living on fantasies. I mean if you are driving to a distant place and if you don't have a map or direction you'd be wasting time,energy and money and may even just quit going that way.With a written map you'll steer your life towards an anchor , destination. Be prepared to pay the price for your success.You have to make your dream come true , breathe life into it.

4. Don't complain or tire of the work it takes. Be a beaver to improve your skills. Work towards being the best in your field. Study the experts and copy their best practices.When you have committed to your goal giving up will never be an option. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to reach milestones or benchmarks. NEVER GIVE UP! Top achievers go after what they want - energetically and passionately accompolishing their dreams. YOU CAN TOO.Not long ago one of the greatest statesmen of our times , Sir Winston Churchill gave this advice :"Come on now, all you young men all over the world.You are needed more than ever now to fill the gap of a generation shorn by the war. You have not an hour to lose.You must take your places in life's fighting line.Twenty - twenty five.Those are the years.Don't be content with things as they are.The earth is yours and the fullness thereof.Enter upon your inheritance. Accept your responsibilities.Raise the glorious flags again, advance them upon the enemies who constantly gather upon the front of the human army and have only to be assaulted to be overthrown. Don't take no for an answer. NEVER SUBMIT TO FAILURE. Do not be fobbed off with mere personal success or acceptance."

Walk With Peers

Character Is Something You BUILD

To your future,

Cally Rao

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