Popular Posts

Targeted Clicks

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Stop Feeling So Guilty!

Are you being too hard on yourself?Psychologists say the average person spends approximately two hours a day feeling guilty!And of that about forty five minutes are taken up by a severe dose of feeling guilt.Although guilt feelings are constructive yet a system that works for the better can also malfunction.If in response to your guilt feelings you have taken steps to make amends but the sense of guilt still persists you are probably suffering from false guilt which can slide away into self destruction.

So how can you get rid of guilt feelings? Experts agree it's much like pain.You don't sit there and grit your teeth till your dentures crumble - you do something about it.Here are four steps you can take to deal with your guilt feelings.

Make Amends:Unrelieved guilt can hole your immune system and expose you to illness.Old guilt can connect to your current situation and rattle you time and again.

Disable your 'guilt buttons':The people in your personal community can manipulate you into feelings of guilt.A martyred sigh from a friend can send a tide of guilt feelings washing over you. First identify what or where your guilt feelings are.What are you insecure about?Work?The kids?Your ability to give or give in to your friends?Next, who or what has the power to push those buttons.Decide you are the one who is going to control your life and so take steps and pre emptive measures to take power away from them or it.

Forgive yourself:You have done the best you could at the time.You have done the best you could about being a dad but you aren't superdad nor do you have to make yourself out to be.Let go of the past and press on onto new paths.Mend broken relationships or get back into contact with that old friend.Do something but don't wait for a glacial melt to move on.Forgive yourself.Expecting perfection of yourself is a no win situation.

An ancient remedy:There is an old Chinese tale that a woman once lost the lives of her husband and two sons in a day.Overwhelmed by grief she sat alone in ashes and sackcloth until it dawned on her she might be killing herself too.So she sought out an old seer friend.He told her the best cure he knew of is to go and 'find a mustard seed'.But she has to get that seed from a home or family where no tragedy has befallen.So she went into town and knocked on all doors that would open to her and as she sought her mustard seed she also heard tales of woe and tragedy from each family.As she saw the streams of tears and broken hearts she changed around to being a comforter and forgot her own grief.

Behaviourists say that a practical way to overcome some of life's hang ups is to channel your grief or anger or guilt feelings into a new endeavour.As you populate that goal with all your energies, time and talent you'll soon overwhelm the guilt gremlins that are out to do you in.

Stop Feeling So Guilty!

Vanquish Your Fears!

Cally Rao